Having a mentor or coach is a relatively new concept and if you ask any successful business entrepreneur or athlete they will have a number of professionals supporting them and propelling them towards their goals. It is even becoming more common in the corporate world with executives seeking the assistance of a career coach. So is this a concept that we can apply to our everyday lives? Do our dreams or issues warrant the services of a coach? And are their people already in your life that you admire, look up to and you would consider a mentor albeit in an informal way?
I would not be where I am today without my coaches and mentors and the funny thing is, with a few of them, I didn’t really seek out and search for these people in a formal way. And while my journey to stage was the catalyst to create my support team, I don’t think they realise the huge impact they have had on me, nor are they officially titled with mentor or coach. I have attracted to me some truly amazing individuals who inspire me and believe in me and I now look at the concept of searching for help, aka therapy, in a very different way.
Traditional therapy is where we are conditioned to turn to for help. Psychologists, psychiatrists and psychoanalysts; I have seen dozens and been in and out of therapy since the age of 16! So many of us carry emotional scars from childhood; I am certainly not unique there. And when Medicare covers the cost of traditional therapy it is naturally the place we will turn to.
Traditional therapy sessions are usually spent talking, analysing and dissecting events of the past to establish why we are still suffering. Whether it be events from childhood or the events of last week. And while there is some value in being aware of the events that shape us I am not sure that reliving the past over and over is a healthy way to approach the future. The past is just a story you keep telling yourself in your mind, it is not real, you can’t get in your car and drive there, so why keep telling yourself a story that hurts? It is important to forgive and be at peace with your past sure, but every session I would walk out in tears and feeling worse! Is this negative energy propelling me towards my goals and a happier life?
I have tried alternative modalities as well…. kinesiology, hypnotherapy, energetic and transformational healing and I do feel these are far more positive and beneficial. But sadly these are not covered by Medicare or private health funds so although I persisted it was becoming very expensive!
I always associated mentors and coaches with successful people. I certainly didn’t think that a broken person like me would fit the ideal client profile. I therefore didn’t seek out this type of professional to help me. With my decision to compete and become a fitness model I naturally sort out experts to assist me to achieve this goal. As I was not seeking this help to “fix” me of course I felt comfortable to engage with these professionals.
It doesn’t matter what you want to achieve in life, there is someone out there who has either already achieved it and/or can mentor and support you to achieve it. Far more positive and productive that traditional therapy don’t you think? Here are my top tips for selecting the right coach for you:
- Set your goal – I know this can be a tough one when all you feel is unhappy with life in general. What is missing in your life? Where do you want to be in a years time? Where do you want to be in 5 years’ time? What are you passionate about? Is it career, relationship or health related?
- Field of expertise – there are many different types of coaches out there these days. A life coach is the most common and are good for career and relationship goals however, as I am biased.. lol! I don’t believe you can achieve anything in life without your body being in premium condition. Health coaches are a relative new profession that combine your wellbeing in its entirety. If you have a more specific goal related to fitness then a personal trainer, yoga instructor etc. If you are just looking at physical goals however make sure you dig a bit deeper; is losing weight tied to your self-worth….? Executive coaches specialise in career focused goals. Most entrepreneurs will have different coaches and mentors along their journey to success; from start up, to launching, to social media, to building a client base, there is a business coach out there who can support and guide you.
- Characteristics – for me this is the clincher. If I am going to move forward towards my goals I need to admire, respect and look up to anyone who is supporting me. This is like any relationship in your life and just as you are selective with your friends and partner you should be with someone you are going to pay money to support you. Thoroughly read their website, like their Facebook page; do their posts and philosophy attract you? Read their testimonials. Read about their story; can you relate? You are looking for respect, integrity, professionalism and above all do they inspire you!
- Investment – if you want to fast track change and engage support to do so there is no getting around it will cost money. I spent a fortune on my journey, but I also spent a fortune the previous 30 odd years on traditional therapy that got me nowhere. Which fortune would you rather spend? I resent the traditional therapy cost but I don’t for one second regret the cost I have paid to finally find myself. I prefer to spend at least 3 months with my clients; doesn’t seem much if you have been battling for how many years?
- Commit – This is your future we are talking about, this is your life! Life is not meant to be lived in mediocrity, life is not meant to be lived unhappy. I promise you the sacrifices you make now will be worth it tenfold when you realise your dreams and get to a place of empowerment and peace.
When you are sitting in the old folks home what stories are you going to reminisce over that are going to make you feel proud? That you can look back on with a feeling of accomplishment? What will give your life meaning and purpose so you can feel satisfied that you have lived a fulfilling life? The time is now to create this life and there are loads of professionals out there who have made it their life mission to help you!!
